Thursday, February 19, 2009
What's the point?
There are certain things that I hate about Down syndrome--IEP's and testing are just a few of them! Morgan's kindergarten teacher asked me if I could come to Morgan's testing because she had tried and Morgan wouldn't talk or answer anything for her. She thought Morgan might be more cooperative if I was in the room with her. I'm not sure what this test was for but I think it had something to do with her placement for next year. The teacher started off the test by letting me know she was going to give her the preschool test and then we could see about the kindergarten test depending on how she did on the preK one. The testing was done in a separate room away from the classroom. Morgan knew right away that something different was going on and decided to shut down. She whispered some things to me but otherwise she kept her eyes on the floor, thumb in her mouth and refused to play along with the test. The test was ridiculous--colors, shapes, numbers (1-10), capital and lower case letters and sounds. All things that Morgan has known since she was 3. It took THREE hours--over two different times of me going into her classroom-- to do this test and we never even got to the lower case letters! I was seriously raging inside during the test! I was so frustrated that Morgan wouldn't cooperate and can be so stubborn. I am a control freak and it drives me crazy that there isn't anything I can do to get her to cooperate and SHINE! But the biggest frustration for me was trying to understand why they even had to do this test. Do they not believe me? How would it benefit me to exaggerate her abilities to her teacher? I kept asking the teacher if I could do these things at home and video it so she could see how easily she can do these things when she doesn't feel threatened. She laughed and said that she knew that Morgan knows all of this stuff but she still has to test her. Why? My feelings changed from anger to sadness as I drove home. There are days that I just wish I didn't have to deal with any of this. I feel so inadequate to be the one that has to make all of the big decisions for her. Goals on her IEPs. Full inclusion or cluster classroom setting? All I can do is hope that I am making the right choices and leading her in the right direction and remember that some days are a lot better than others!